we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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