I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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