I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
