the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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