I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
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