My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
