so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
