He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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