why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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