no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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