Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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