He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
