awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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