would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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