Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
