Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
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Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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