If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
