this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize