I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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