I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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