There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
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Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
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We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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