OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
