You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
