using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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