you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
