I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
