Dude i fell asleep inside of her
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic