its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.