If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in