I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.