Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
