I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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