We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize