in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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