You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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