I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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