32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
