That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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