dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I need a burrito and a hug.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
