So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
