Do vagina's smell?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
