Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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