you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
