I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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