You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
