Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
