Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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