i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
