There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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