Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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