high people should be assigned attendants
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
