3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
