Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize