Reggie can tackle my bush.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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