you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
