i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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