i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
